Today's suggested topics: Water for Elephants, Osama Bin Laden and Golden Oreos.
Qorviq rubbed his beady seal eyes with a flipper as he took the 5th Avenue Exit off the 5. He had finally made it to San Diego and the last time his new stolen car had spoken to him, the pop-up Samsung screen had instructed him to take that exit and look for a black SUV parked somewhere in the parking lot of the San Diego Air & Space Museum in Balboa Park.
Oh, this shouldn't be difficult to find...
As he pulled into the park and started making his way around the first bend he slammed on his brakes. Lying in the grass right off the main drive was Pattinwart.
God those two... I absolutely LOVED him in Water for Elephants...
As he approached the museum he saw a large dark SUV parked along the drive. He saw the Killer Whale Mafiosa sitting in the vehicle, the sharks he could only assume were in the back seat. He knew he would be running into them again after the multiple car wrecks and escape attempts, but he didn't forsee it coming to this. At least it was in a public place, so he knew he wouldn't be murdered like, right now.
Great... just... great.
Qorviq pulled over on the opposite side of the street and bravely got out of the stolen Nissan Cube.
Grab the bag, seal!
The Killer Whale was not messing around. Qorviq got into the back and grabbed the black duffel bag he had picked up off the street just days earlier. He made sure he grabbed the iPad 9, obviously.
He shielded his eyes from the bright glare of the sun and slowly approached the SUV. After he crossed the street, the back door sprang open and a shark grabbed him, pulling him into the back seat. As the SUV sped off, he watched the Nissan Cube burst into flames.
Qorviq yelled out, he couldn't believe he had just escaped certain death only to find himself in the belly of certain death yet again.
Calm down seal!
The Killer Whale yelled to him from the front seat. The two sharks flanking him in the back seat drooled with excitement.
Back down boys! Look here seal, I could have killed you at any moment, but I need you alive.
Qorviq was surprised. For some reason the Killer Whale head boss wanted him alive. One of the sharks grabbed Qorviq's flippers and threw handcuffs on. Qorviq didn't bother to struggle, or to point out that his tapered flippers would eventually simply slide out of the cuffs. He didn't want to give these guys any reason to change their mind about letting him continue to live. The other shark threw a black cloth bag over his head. He sat in dark silence as they continued on his way, listening to the Mafioso's conversation.
Yeah, but Carl, they had to kill Osama Bin Laden, he was too much of a threat.
Steve, everyone knows he's been in bed with the Bush family for years.
Both of you shutup! Hand me the iPad out of the seal's bag!
Qorviq felt the SUV slow down after what felt like 5 hours or so. Suddenly he felt them come to a stop, and the black cloth bag was ripped off his head. The sharks threw him out of the car with a jug of water and a box of Golden Oreos.
Good luck seal, we'll let you live this time, we'll be needing you later. You'll figure out what to do.
The SUV sped off, leaving him in a cloud of dust. He was completely alone along a deserted stretch of desert highway. He saw a green highway sign about 800 yards ahead. He couldn't make out the names of the closest cities but as he walked closer he knew he was in for yet another adventure.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! SERIOUSLY?! POOR QORVIQ! WHAT IS HE GONNA DO NOW? WALK OR HITCHHIKE? WHY DO THE SHARK & KILLER WHALE MAFIOSO KEEP LETTING HIM LIVE? WILL THIS STORY EVER END OR EVER COME TO SOME KIND OF UNIFIED POINT?! PROBABLY NOT! SO STAY TUNED!!!!