Today's suggested topics: An irregular sleeping schedule leading to insomnia, MTV's Reality Show 16 and Pregnant, and a Houseboat.
Qorviq wasn't sure what had woken him up, nor was he clear on how long he'd been asleep. After eating his weight in paella, he must have dozed off. It was now dark outside, and after all that had happened, all he really needed was a good night's rest.
Unfortunately this wasn't going to happen, as he was no longer tired.
God dammit, I really need to get back on some kind of regular schedule, I am getting way too old for this shit.
He decided to turn on the television. 16 and Pregnant was on.
Jesus Christ MTV...
He turned off the TV in disgust.
That's when he felt the heat of the explosion, then the spray of glass hitting his bloated seal body as he was thrown across the room. After sitting a moment, dazed, he dusted himself off and tried to get his bearings. He sealed across the living room to look out what was once his sliding glass doors leading out to what was once a deck to the dock below, only to see his houseboat engulfed in flames.
You gotta be fucking kidding me...
He knew this had to be the work of the Shark and Killer Whale Mafiosa. He also knew that having an apartment overlooking a bay, a private dock and a houseboat was just really poor financial decision making on his part.
"Aye caramba! Mi amigo! Que Paso!?"
Obviously the blast had awoken Qorviq's Mexican Immigrant roommate.
"Yeah... um, some guys are kinda after me, it's kind of a long story, but I guess they just blew up my houseboat..."
"AYE! AYE DIOS MIO! AYE! AYE! AYE!"
"Look, dude, it'll be OK, I mean we have the apartment, it's ok!"
"NO! Senior! No es bueno! Mis Amigos! AYE! MIS AMIGOS!!"
That's when Qorviq remembered he had agreed to allow his roommate to use his houseboat as a safe haven for his illegal immigrant friends.
This can NOT be happening...
IS QORVIQ'S SOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MOB RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF AT LEAST 2 DOZEN ILLEGAL ALIENS OR WAS THE HOUSEBOAT BOMBING SIMPLY PART OF ARIZONA IMMIGRATION LAW SB1070!? STAY TUNED!