Friday, April 9, 2010

Episode 19

Today's Suggested Topics: The enhanced safety features of the all new 2010 Chevy Suburban, Onstar, and #1 Stunna by Big Tymers

Qorviq opened his eyes, and glanced around. He was actually completely unharmed due to the high-strength steel safety cage, six air bags and seat belt... even though he was in the back middle seat.  It was quite apparent that the StabiliTrak Electronic Stability Control System with Traction Control and 4-wheel antilock brakes had been his saving grace.  He heard the OnStar Automatic Crash Response kick on.

"Thank you for using your OnStar system, my name is Nootaikok, how can I help you today".

"Um, yeah, hi.  I got in a car accident... the Killer Whale driver threw himself out of the car, and I hit an ice floe."

"Ok... um... are you hurt sir?  I mean I guess the Killer Whale is gone, so at least you know you are going to live, right?  Haha! "

"Haha!  Seriously!! And I'm fine, I'm in the backseat of a half-ton Chevy Suburban."

"Now that is a quality vehicle... I mean it is no Ford Escape, but if you need the extra room I'd recommend a Chevy Suburban in a heartbeat. I mean 21 MPG and up to 650 miles between fill ups, it really is a viable option if you have a big family (it seats 9)... and the Bose Centerpoint Surround Sound system... I mean it is really something else."

"You aren't kidding!  We were actually just listening to #1 Stunna and the bass was KICKIN'!"



"Really?"

"No I'm just joking, I can't stand that crap.  I mean we were listening to it, but only because there were a couple sharks in the very back seat."

"Oh God..."

"Yeah. Look, it's been a real long day for me, could you maybe just get an ambulance and some guys out here to clean this up?  I just want to go home."

"Ok sir, I'm sending a signal now to send an emergency response team."

"Thank you."

"Thank you for using OnStar and have a nice day.  We're there when you need us."

Qorviq settled back into his seat after reaching up to turn Big Tymers back on.  As he waited for the emergency vehicles and crew he wondered just what could possibly lie ahead in his roller-coaster of a life...

STAY TUNED!  WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN NEXT!?  I DON'T EVEN KNOW, BUT I AM CERTAIN THAT IT WILL BE UNBELIEVABLE AND AMAZING!!











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