Monday, June 7, 2010

Episode 28

Today's suggested topics are: The 2009-2010 Pulitzer Prize Board, Columbia University being the Obvious Best of all the Ivy League Schools, and C.R.O.W.N..

As Qorviq continued his extremely long and inconvenient trek to the dock to meet the car thieves where he could only hope to get his El Camino back so he can just move on with his life, his mind started to wander.  He thought of Arn and the boys.  He thought about his young immigrant roommate, and how he must be feeling right now given the confusion and hustle and bustle of all the day's events. He thought about Linda, and the mafiosa and the multiple car wrecks and assorted explosions he'd been a part of.

This is so much for one seal to handle, he thought to himself.  If only he had a group assembled of the most educated, influential, respected, and just overall amazing people ever in existence to be gathered in one room to help advise him in this situation.

He knew of only one group that fit that bill; The 2009-2010 Pulitzer Prize Board.

front row: K.A. Willey, A. Gyllenhaal, A.M. Lipinski, S. Gissler, N. Lemann, L. Bollinger, A. Bennett
back row: R. Beck, G. Moore, J. Dehli, J. Amoss, T. Friedman, P. Gigot, J. VandeHei, K. Carroll, P. Tash, D. Kennedy 
(photo courtesy of http://www.pulitzer.org)

Unfortunately, they were not there.  They were most likely assembled at Columbia University, which Qorviq knew without a doubt to be the very best amongst all of the Ivy League Schools.  There wasn't even a question about that obvious fact.  He had never been, but he remembered reading about their revolutionary C.R.O.W.N. program, committed to helping the Columbia University student body, staff, faculty and visitors make healthy dietary choices. This program provides detailed nutritional information and facts for all John Jay Dining Menus, thus assisting all to make informed decisions in regards to their dietary choices. 

That is just one example of people coming together to try and make this world we live in a better place, he thought again to himself.

As he continued his walk through the fog, he thought he heard something shuffling softly behind him.

"Hello?  Who's out there, hello??"

He got no response and continued on, after a few minutes he heard the shuffling again.

"Hello??  Comeon, I've had a long day.  If you are some kind of ninja, or an undercover cop, or a monster or something, can you just come out of the foggy abyss and let's get this confrontation over with already?"
As the fog slowly parted, he saw a small, dark figure emerge.


"Sorry sir.  I'm lost..."

It was a young penguin, obviously lost in the fog.

"Hey there!  It's OK, you scared me!  What are you doing out here?  What is your name?"

"I don't really know sir.  To tell you the truth, I just woke up and it was all foggy, and I don't... I don't..."

The little penguin started to tear up.

"Oh, hey there, hey. It's gonna be OK little guy, don't be sad.  Look, you stick with me OK?  Can we try and retrace your steps maybe?"

As Qorviq turned around to head back to help the little penguin find his way, he forgot about the El Camino.  He forgot about the Shark and Killer Whale Mafioso and the explosion and the car wrecks.  This little penguin needed his help.

They set off into the fog in the opposite direction of the dock, hand in hand, Qorviq comforting the little penguin, who couldn't even remember his own name.  It was going to be another long night, but Qorviq, as always, was up to the challenge.

MAN, QORVIQ IS A REAL STAND UP GUY/SEAL.  I FEEL LIKE THE LITTLE PENGUIN CHILD IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE.  STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE!! YOU WON'T EVEN BELIEVE THE SHIT STORM THAT LIE JUST AHEAD FOR POOR UNSUSPECTING QORVIQ.  

MAN, THIS WORLD'S FIRST ONLINE, INTERACTIVE SOAP OPERA BASED ON A LAWN ORNAMENT INSPIRED SEAL CHARACTER GAME/BLOG SURE IS BRILLIANT.  I AM SO ENTERTAINED YET I AM ALSO LEARNING THINGS AS WELL!  WHAT?  EXCUSE ME? YOU SAY THIS ALL BEGAN WITH THE PUBLISHING OF A SHORT COMEDIC GRAPHIC NOVEL?  WOW, THAT IS TRULY REVOLUTIONARY.  I HOPE THAT BOOK WINS A PULITZER PRIZE, BECAUSE IT TOTALLY DESERVES IT. 

2 comments:

  1. Qorviq proves to be a seal-manatarian and stops to help the poor little penguin. Sounds like Pulitzer material to me.

    ReplyDelete