Today's Suggested Topics: Bumblebee Tuna, an interrogation room, and the year 1983
Qorviq opened the door and there stood the mailman.
"Hey there, sign here please."
"What is this?"
"I don't know sir, opening it to tell you would be a Federal offense. Have a nice day."
That was weird.
Qorviq ripped into the unmarked envelope.
JOIN US DOWNTOWN TOMORROW AFTERNOON FOR A MARKET RESEARCH INTERVIEW ON YOUR TUNA CONSUMPTION. YOU WILL BE COMPENSATED $50.00 FOR YOUR OPINIONS.
Oh sure. Here Bumblebee Tuna. Here is an idea to save your company, thanks for the $50.00 and stale cookies.
Qorviq started to throw the document away... when he remembered he was going to have to start paying Arn and the boys child support next month. He didn't foresee getting a job at a creative advertising firm anytime soon, so he decided to attend.
Whatever, it is $50.00...
***THE NEXT MORNING***
Qorviq walked in and was promptly ushered into an interrogation room.
This is not what I was expecting...
He had heard of these things before and generally thought they were done in groups, and he was concerned how cold the room was. Also, it was pretty apparent there were people on the other side of the wall-length mirror in front of him. He waved his flipper at the high powered, yet clueless executives studying him.
His market interviewer walked in and sat directly across from him.
"Hello Qorviq! Welcome!"
"Hello ma'am, thanks for having me."
"No, thank YOU! I'm glad you found the place alright."
"Yeah it wasn't too difficult, I mean I got turned around once or twice..."
"Mmm hmm, well, the important thing is that you are here now. Let us begin. I am going to start by asking you a series of questions as they relate to your tuna consumption habits now versus this time last year and I will ask you to compare that to your tuna consumption habits of 1987."
"Wait... how am I supposed to remember tha..."
"Ok, let's begin. Would you say that you are eating more or less tuna now than you were in 1987?"
"Um... I don't really know, I mean more? Wait..."
"Mmm hmm, and what about last year?
"And how about during the year of 1983? How much were you eating then?"
"Look, lady I seriously don't know I mean I..."
"CUT THE CRAP SEAL! WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT OF LARRY'S DISAPPEARANCE!?"
"YOU HEARD ME! WE HAVE LINDA IN CUSTODY! I WANT YOU TO CUT THE CRAP AND TELL ME EVERYTHING!!"
Qorviq's head was spinning, he couldn't believe what was happening. He didn't even know Larry was missing, Linda had just said they had gotten divorced, he didn't know anything about a disappearance.
The woman threw her notebook at Qorviq's face.
"OW! Shit lady, chill out! I don't even know what the hell this is about!"
"REALLY? IS THAT WHY WE FOUND LARRY'S JACKET IN THE BACK OF YOUR EL CAMINO? IS THAT WHY WE SAW YOU LEAVING THE BAR AND THE HOSPITAL WITH LINDA THE NIGHT OF HIS DISAPPEARANCE?"
"You've been following me!?"
"CUT THE CRAP! TELL ME NOW! I HAVE TWO DETECTIVES BEHIND THAT GLASS READY TO TAKE AND LOCK YOU AWAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL SEAL LIFE IF YOU DON'T START TALKING RIGHT NOW!"
Qorviq didn't know what to say, or why he was even a suspect... he didn't even know the crime! His head was reeling.
Jesus Christ. Was Larry murdered? Why is Linda in custody? Was she alright!?
STAY TUNED! WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO POOR QORVIQ NOW!? I MEAN CAN'T THIS GUY CATCH A BREAK!?
***by the way, http://www.bumblebee.com/Ads/softtacosprintad.pdf is a very healthy and easy to make recipie that takes just minutes. I love tacos and have to admit I am a little impressed. Check it out for a meal on the go!***
Buy some of this. Its NATURALLY gluten free.